Love is a bitter little pill.


As we head into November and the year starts drawing to a close, I can’t help looking back over this last year and seeing how much I have learned.

My prayer this year was ‘Teach me how to suffer…’. I have been particularly interested in the relationship suffering has with other things especially love, and fear. I think I would even go as far to say that in terms of suffering, love and fear are polar opposites.

In practical terms, I have certainly had to face these things over this year. I am ashamed of my lack of courage in regards to my husband’s illness. He is a much braver person than me. But I have also come to the understanding that it can be much harder to watch a loved one suffer and walk along side them when there is nothing you can do to take that suffering away. That is a heartbreak I still cannot come to terms with. I would give anything to be the one who is suffering rather than to watch helplessly from the outside. But of course in a marriage, if one spouse suffers, the other suffers too.

Mary has been with me in a special way this year. She has taught me that when I hold the Rosary it is really her holding my hand, and I should be like a sunflower – always turning to face the sun (her Son).

Mary had to help her Son walk towards the cross for 33 years. And at the end of those 33 years she stood beneath the cross and supported Him as he died. Her courage and selflessness are things I need to learn. She once said to a friend of mine “If I can stand at the foot of the cross, then so can you.”

Suffering can be scary. We are all hopelessly attached to comfort. I would go as far as to say that our attachment to comfort doubles no, triples the fear we associate with suffering. I am certainly guilty of this. My attachment to money, health, and carefree living has certainly been exposed, but I have at least taken the first step and stopped running, and have turned round to face my attachment to comfort. Everybody wants an easy life…

I sit and contemplate all these things and then think myself ever so clever for rationalizing it all. But what good is that?! I still need to put the simple truths into action. Love is greater than fear. Love conquers all things.

But love is not easy. Love can sometimes be a very bitter pill to swallow. Pray for me…




3 thoughts on “Love is a bitter little pill.

  1. I don’t know if this will be of help, but I think fear certainly comes at a level from a lack of hope and is a lack of love of God. That said we all fear and trust too much in ourselves and God directs us to hope, trust and love him. Suffering is a tool in a way that directs us to ultimately hope, trust and Love God alone and not rely on ourselves. Below is a blurb I wrote in part yesterday on understanding Love and Evil.

    Once when I was assisting at an RCIA class a question was asked “What is Love”. “God is love” the main instructor replied, as it states in the bible (1 John 4:8 “Whoever is without love does not know God, for God is love.”). The lady continued along the line that God is not an emotion, and wanted more clarity on what Love is. An answer in the form of a definition came out of/through me, which was not from me or my intellect, and it is “Love is the active participation in the will of God.” I was amazed at the time what I heard come out of my own mouth and found it to be a beautiful statement.

    I have spent a long time contemplating this and have found it has fascinating ramifications. For a while I thought this was something new (and it was for me), but it is consistent with what we already have from our faith, and is at best just a clarification. The idea is well expressed in scripture as it turns out (and would be expected):
    • 1 Samuel 15:22 “But Samuel replied: “Does the LORD delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices as much as in obeying the voice of the LORD? To obey is better than sacrifice, and to heed is better than the fat of rams.”
    • 1 John 4:7-8 “Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.”
    • John 14:15 “If you love me, keep my commandments.”

    The definition has opened a greater depth and meaning to love for me rather than that of a simple emotion and of course it turns out the Church has well known and taught this. Pope Benedict IV stated “…it is clearly revealed that love is not merely a sentiment. Sentiments come and go. A sentiment can be a marvelous first spark, but it is not the fullness of love.” In deus caritas est 17.

    Since God is always active in his own will, and it is action in his will that defines love, God is in fact Love. He is the absolute source and definition of Love. As such everything God wills and does is an act of Love by God. Anyone who actively follows and participates in the will of God loves. All that we purposefully do that is as God wills is a loving action. Jesus came to actively do the will of God and to Love “For the Son of man himself came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.” Mark 10:45.

    Love is an act of free will. We choose to Love, by actively participating in the will of God, or not. God wants us to love him, just to love him (Baltimore Catechism), God does not coerce us, we decide by the way we conduct ourselves and live our lives if we love God. “Before man is life and death, good and evil, that which he shall choose shall be given him” Ecclesiasticus 15:18

    Before I was given the definition for Love I thought that the opposite of Love was hate, and I was wrong, it is evil. Applying the definition the opposite of Love would be the “Active non-participation in the will of God”, and that is mortal sin and mortal sin is evil. “Hate” is a sentiment often expressed from an Evil disposition (but not all hate is evil).

    The “non-active non-participation in the will of God” is venial sin. This can be from ignorance, laziness, carelessness etc. but it is not the absolute willful separation from God that mortal sin entails. Original Sin is the separation from the will of God we are born with from the Sin of Adam.

    “This act of disobedience, which is called his original sin, man lost nothing which was due to him or to his nature. He lost only gifts, and became as St. Augustine has said, ‘Just mere man.’ On Christmas day when you distribute gifts to your friends, a person with whom you are unacquainted would not dare come to you and argue because you had failed to give him gifts such as you had given your friends. Your answer would be: sir, I have done you no injustice. I have deprived you of nothing which is your due. I have even given to my friends that which was not theirs. And so it is with Original Sin.” Archbishop Fulton Sheen (Catholic Hour – Love’s Overflow)

    This understanding of mortal sin explains much on the nature of sin, sinners and on the devil and demons. Evil is an active rejection of God and therefore a total lack of Love.

    Actively choosing to oppose God (exist in a complete state of mortal sin) is demonic, this is why it separates us from God. If we actively cast ourselves totally away from God we land in Hell when we die since hell is the state of complete separation from and rejection of God. If we live in mortal sin we reject God and all that is good, so what is left when all that is good is rejected is horrendous, it is hell.

    Since God created all, he is the source of all truth. Since Satan rejects all that is of God he also rejects all that is true and this is why he is the “father of lies”. He rejects God out of pride and all the attributes of God. Satan is the perversion of truth, he twists all things to away from truth. So with Satan we have things like: Homosexual marriage, abortion (the destruction of children made in the image and likeness of God), Lust, etc.

    As people follow Satan they lose the truth and “For this is the property of Satan’s delusions, that the men seized by them do not suspect that they are delusions.” —John Henry Newman, Parochial and Plain Sermons, 6:335. When a person accepts lies, they live lies, and they lose the truth, and they lose God.

    Since Satan has rejected all that is good, he has no good in himself. He has nothing positive. As such he has:

    • No truth he is all lies (remember he is the father of lies)
    • No genuine strength (just another lie)
    • No wisdom (intelligence not a good on its own!)
    • No Love – opposes all love!
    • No Hope
    • No Joy
    • Rejected ALL that is good, so all that is left is Evil
    • Corruption, ego, weakness, horror, hate, fear, coercion, foolishness, despair, lies, deceit, malice, Etc.

    Not being God he:
    • Cannot create, only destroy (God alone creates)
    • Destroys Life (God’s creation) → abortion (Destroys the image and likeness of God), Euthanasia, Assisted suicide, Fetal experimentation, cloning and combining species DNA – all trying to play God
    • Destroys individuals
    • Destroys families
    • Attacks all that is good
    • Fosters terror and terrorism
    • Tries (in vain) to destroy the Church (Body/Bride of Christ). Instills Ideas like: faith doesn’t matter… Sacraments are only symbols, Bible alone etc… (it is never alone, always comes with ideas and interpretation)

    It is important to remember that:

    CCC 395 “The power of Satan is, nonetheless, not infinite. He is only a creature, powerful from the fact that he is pure spirit, but still a creature. He cannot prevent the building up of God’s reign. Although Satan may act in the world out of hatred for God and his kingdom in Christ Jesus, and although his action may cause grave injuries – of a spiritual nature and, indirectly, even of a physical nature- to each man and to society, the action is permitted by divine providence which with strength and gentleness guides human and cosmic history. It is a great mystery that providence should permit diabolical activity, but “we know that in everything God works for good with those who love him.”

    So we should remember that “Love covers a multitude of sins” (1 Pt 4:8). It is URGENT we choose well! Ultimately there are Only 2 choices: “God” and “wrong answer → (Not God)”!) So one again let me state from Ecclesiasticus 15:18 “Before man is life and death, good and evil, that which he shall choose shall be given him”. Choose evil and you get evil, choose real True Love and you get God!

  2. Pingback: Love is a bitter little pill. | Christians Anonymous

  3. I will continue to pray for you. Even Jesus was afraid but He went to the cross anyway. He will help you continue on too. God bless you.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s