These jokes are so bad its 50/50 whether they will actually cheer you up or just send you over the edge… Lets see shall we…
I know someone who worked in a chicken factory. She said it was a fowl job.
I wanted to be a doctor but didn’t have the patience.
I was addicted to hokey-pokey but I turned myself around.
Don’t trust atoms. They make up everything.
What did Beethoven do after he died? He decomposed.
Why did they rush the roofer to the hospital?? He came down with shingles.
I went on a really exciting camping trip. It was in tents.
The melons wanted to run away and get married, but they cantaloupe.
“Good afternoon! Urology Department – can you hold?”
Guys fresh out of seminary are greener pastors.
A man accidentally had his whole left side torn off. He’s all right now.
The quickest way to quit being vegan is cold turkey.
A dyslexic agnostic insomniac stays up all night wondering if there really is a dog.
Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? He was lucky it was a soft drink.
My dental appointment is at 2.30.
What does the clock do when it’s hungry? It goes back four seconds.
I wondered why baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down.
Einstein developed a theory about space, and it was about time too.
I couldn’t quite remember how to throw a boomerang, but eventually it came back to me.
There was a sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center that said: keep off the grass.
I used to have a fear of hurdles, but I got over it.
Police were called to a day-care where a 3-year-old was resisting a rest.
He drove his expensive car into a tree and found out how the Mercedes bends.
Nostalgia isn’t what it used to be.
I would like to procrastinate but I keep putting it off.
I tried to catch some fog. I mist.
When chemists die, they barium.
Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.
A soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
O know a guy who is addicted to break fluid. He says he can stop at any time.
How does Moses make his tea? Hebrew’s it.
I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.
This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I’d never met herbivore.
I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.
They told me I had Type A blood, but it was a Type O.
Energizer bunny arrested. Charged with battery.
I didn’t like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.
What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A Thesaurus.
God Bless… Have a good day, and don’t forget to share the love! xx